CBS Poop Show

This is a personal poop on CBS.

I am in a show this summer in The New York International Fringe Festival. While some shows in the festival have huge budgets and giant teams of producers and designers, we have had to delay paying some bills so we could fund the show and asked friends to work for free. The play follows three young men who hit and kill a deer on the way home from the funeral of a friend. So, we needed a dead deer. A talented young artist, Dylan VanDenHoeck, built one for us out of burlap and chicken wire. No deer were harmed in the making of this show.

The Fringe has had several opportunities for us to promote our shows. We went to the opening night party with the deer in tow. We danced on a table with her! A photographer from The New York Times took several shots of us and took our names! We crossed our fingers, hoping to see the picture in the paper the next day. Didn't happen. We did get one line in the article though.

Then we got word from the Fringe that The CBS Early show had invited 100 Fringe Festival Participants to stand out in the plaza and get some time on the air. They said they'd be talking to us and maybe even ask us to do some scenes. We jumped at the chance to promote the show. A couple of cast members stayed the night at my Manhattan apartment and at 7 a.m. we were eagerly awaiting our deer's television debut. Naturally we thought the deer would get some attention. It did. Cameras panned the crowd and we did our best to get the deer in every shot we could. We were thoroughly ignored by the TV personalities, but no one said anything about the deer being inappropriate. Eventually, David Price (CBS Early Show weatherman whose name I never knew until today) was the first to denounce the deer, telling us "We're not going to talk to you!" and security guards told us that if we put it on camera one more time they'd ask us to leave, which was nice of them. So we got it on camera... and they asked us to leave. We were escorted off the premises with our deer wrapped in a tarp. See it happen here...

So I would like to take a personal poop on CBS for the following reasons...

-Two and a Half Men is still on the air

-They invited a bunch of THEATER PEOPLE onto a morning show without screening us or making a list of rules that clearly needed to be in place BEFORE we thought we'd be able to promote our shows on television. (They're lucky the PORN ROCK - THE MUSICAL cast didn't show up.)

-It seemed that the invitation to the Fringe Festival participants was just a cheap way to make it look like people actually liked/wanted to be on the CBS Early Show. Apparently they made no mention that all of these wacky people in costume out on the plaza were from the festival, but waited until the show was almost over to confess where the crowd came from.

[NOTE: This poop on CBS is not intended to get on Andy Rooney.]

UPDATE!!!

We made it into a segment! This was right before we got escorted off the premises.